URGENT
by Ellsey
Summary: While training for the final showdown with Aizen, Shinji receives an urgent text message from Urahara. What could it mean?


Shinji closed his eyes, ready to put on his mask. He reached out with his senses, feeling everything around him. The Visored, like everyone else, were preparing for what would surely be a final showdown with Aizen. One last chance to get revenge for what he had done to them. Shinji focused on trying to sense Love, who was currently somewhere out there ready to attack. His concentration was interrupted by the sudden chirp of his phone. He shook his head, trying to regain his focus, but his phone went off again.

Hiyori was the first person to reach it. "It's from stupid Kisuke. It says 'urgent' and then there's a bunch of gibberish. Ugh, he doesn't even make sense in text messages." She tossed the phone at Shinji. "You better respond before that idiot makes your phone explode or something."

He caught the phone and sighed. So much for training. Hiyori had a point when she said it looked like gibberish though. "This must be some kind of code. There's some hats, hearts, cats, and a thumbs up at the end...what is that supposed to mean?"

Mashiro bounced up to look first. "Oh that's easy Shinji," she said. "Kisuke likes cats!"

Kensei scowled. "Don't be dumb Mashiro. Why would he send Shinji a message to say he likes cats? This must be some kind of new strategy he's cooked up. Is there order to it?"

"Not that I can tell." Shinji looked closer. "Maybe I should count the symbols or something?"

Hachi came to look over Shinji's shoulder. "Perhaps he just needs you to pick up some cat food for him?"

Rose shook his head. "That doesn't make any sense. Why couldn't he get his own? Plus the only cat I've ever seen around there is Yoruichi, and she can eat human food."

By now all the Visored were gathered around Shinji's phone. Love said, "Could the symbols be different kinds of attacks?"

Shinji made a face. "I don't know. It looks completely random to me."

Lisa sighed. "Sex, Shinji. It says that Kisuke and Yoruichi had sex."

"Huh?" Shinji tilted his head to the side, studying his phone. "...ooooohhhhhh. Well why couldn't he have just said that?"

"Probably because he doesn't want to DIE you dumb baldy." Hiyori laughed. "She's going to kill him when she finds out about this."

Mashiro looked confused. "I thought they were already together?"

"Are you joking? Their tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife," Rose sighed.

"Well I think it's nice that two people can find happiness before battle," Hachi said.

Kensei shrugged. "I don't understand what the big deal is. It's just sex."

"It's a huge deal," Love said. "Two people who have been there for each other for centuries. Best friends who gave up everything to be with each other. It's an epic love story."

"You read too much manga," Kensei complained.

"I don't know, it is pretty epic," Lisa agreed. "I mean she's way out of his league. And he's clearly had the hots for her forever. I guess you can wear almost anyone down given enough time."

"Why is she out of his league?" Hiyori questioned. "Because she's some princess?"

Lisa stared blankly. "Have you looked at her?"

"No, because I'm not some weird stalker that stares at people," Hiyori said.

Lisa gave a slight smirk. "That's funny, because I seem to recall you enjoying quite a show while Shinji was training earlier." Hiyori could only made a few strangled noises in response.

"Very funny," Shinji said with a glare. He looked at his phone again. "Well, I might as well ask for details." He started typing in his phone as Hiyori slapped it out of his hands.

"You disgusting pervert! No one wants to know about that," she yelled.

Lisa smoothly picked up the phone. "Yes they do," she said as she finished the message. "Maybe Shinji can pick up some useful tips on how to seduce small, angry women who like to pretend they aren't interested."

Hiyori's eyes almost popped out of her head before she let out a primal roar and stormed away. Shinji rolled his eyes. Somehow this was all going to be his fault he was sure. He heard his phone ping again and looked at the new message. "A bowl of rice and some milk? What does that even mean?"

"Obviously he fed her and gave her milk. Interesting tactic. I guess the way to a woman's bed is through her stomach sometimes." Lisa looked at Shinji. "So what's Hiyori's favorite food?"

Shinji just walked away while typing one last message.

"GRATS ON ALL THE SEX"


End file.
